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Simon Sands


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Warner Leisure Hotels

Simon has built up somewhat of a name for himself at Warners and there was quite a bit of excitement from Leisure members when they found out that Simon was performing. He did a great job and worked the crowd really well, giving a solid performance as always. He also used the band for his songs, which was a refreshing change from ‘click tracks’, and it would be nice to see him back in the near future.

Warners Thoresby Hall

Cruise & Maritime Voyages (CMV)

Thank you for providing us with such wonderful entertainment on our voyage to the Norwegian Fjords. It has been an absolute pleasure to have you on board and will look forward to seeing you again on M/V Marco Polo or one of our other ships in the near future.

Assistant Cruise Director

L’Ancresse Golf Club, Guernsey

We booked Simon Sands to entertain members after our Club Championship Dinner and Presentation. He was enjoyed by all and once again proved to be a very professional and entertaining comic. We would recommend Simon and would definitely hire him again in the future.

East Brighton Masonic Centre

Simon performed as an after-dinner cabaret for our Burns Nite Celebration. The age range of our group was from 20 to 80 and Simon’s choice of material, and the way in which he presented his act, was enjoyed by everyone. On a personal level, I found him very pleasant, professional and a joy to do business with. I wouldn’t hesitate to book him for future events or to recommend him.

Friends of Bridgwater & Albion

We would like to say a big ‘thank you’ for your recent performance at the above club for our Sponsorship Lunch prior to the league match. As you know, we had a sell-out and when we booked you, the choice could not have been better. Your performance was first class – even with a problem with our mic, but your handling of the fault was excellent and surely the sign of a true professional. In conclusion, the feedback we have had has been excellent and has maintained our high standards of entertainment. We wish you well for the future and certainly would have no hesitation in recommending you.

Chobham Golf Club

Simon was such a great success at our previous Seniors’ Dinner that we had no hesitation in booking him again. On both occasions he pitched his act perfectly for the mixed audience of 60 and 70-year-olds and we hope to welcome him back again soon.

Grand Burstin Hotel, Folkestone

Just saw you and had to let you know I think you’re amazing!

Peter (guest)

Simon Sands is a cheeky comic, with a laid back style of humour and is suitable for all types of audiences and venues.
Simon is at home in cabaret, theatre, pantomime or after dinner speaking and has performed in all corners of country, appearing at many major venues. In panto. he has played principle roles, including Idle Jack, (Dick Whittington), Simple Simon, (Little Red Riding Hood), Buttons, (Cinderella) and a Chinese Policeman, (Aladdin). Simon is also a regular entertainer for the British Forces at home & abroad.
Never offensive, Simon is an expert in judging an audience and these factors, along with his bouncy character are helping make his name in the company and corporate market where he has often played the role of genial host/ well as presenting his blend of comedy.

Simon has worked alongside James Bonds Daniel Craig and Pierce Brosnan, as well as various adverts including for London Underground and the Indian beer Cobra. He has also entertained the iconic Chelsea Pensioners at The Royal Hospital Chelsea.

Sporting dinners include performances with football manager Jimmy Greaves, England goalkeeper Gordon Banks, boxing champions John Conte and Alan Minter.

Simon has starred in pantomimes with Adam Woodyatt (EastEnders), Tessa Sanderson (Olympic champion), Ian Williams (Alan Willis from Neighbours), and Carmen Silvera (‘Allo ‘Allo).

He has also performed with Coronation Street’s Bill Roache and Anne Kirkbride, Joanna Lumley, David Jacobs, Simon Dee and June Whitfield.

As well as hundreds of after-dinner appearances over the years, Simon is a popular entertainer on cruise lines Fred. Olsen, Thomson (now Marella), CMV (Cruise & Maritime Voyages), P&O and Airtours – and apart from his ever-popular cabaret shows, Simon has been honoured to Address the Haggis on many a New Year.

Simon also appears at TUI Gold hotels around the world, and has also entertained at corporate events for Jaguar, BP, Range Rover, Honda, Rover, Tesco, Peugeot, Sainsbury’s, GlaxoSmithKlineBeecham, Rank, BAA, McAlpines, National Federation of Builders, Travis Perkins, Amateur Boxing Association, Limousin Cattle Breeders, Guernsey Tomato Growers Association and many more.

Simon has worked for the British Armed Forces and the United Nations around the world including UK bases, Northern Ireland, Bosnia, Croatia, Kosovo, Serbia and the Falklands.